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mararupners

Ok. So Aini really had mentioned a few weeks back that a friend of his from his California days was going to be in town in May. And, at the time, he really did say that the friend might stay with us for a night or two. But the details were so fuzzy that I just filed the conversation away in the part of my brain for “random things we’ve talked about but are never actually going to happen” and promptly forgot all about it.

I guess I should have followed up because toward the end of last week it suddenly went from “this might possibly be happening” to “he’ll be here from Sunday to Wednesday.” Which, for normal people, might be something they think is fun, or, on the other hand, a minor inconvenience…but we have The Dog.

Thing is, The Dog does not really like people. I mean, people who aren’t her people. We noticed this pretty early on. She was shy as a puppy, and barked a lot at anyone who came in the house, but then would warm up pretty quickly. Around the time she turned one, something shifted. She started exhibiting some weird and unpredictable behaviors around people. She was selective. Some she would meet and fall in love with. Some she would be wary of but as long as they ignored her she let them be. Others she would stare at, stalk, and bark at – in a pretty obnoxious and kinda scary way. If she was off leash, she would charge at people, and off-leash quickly became something we just don’t do.

Under no circumstances should any stranger ever look her in the eye. She has lunged and snapped at people, even kids. She’s not particularly nice to my mother-in-law. Once my then 11-year-old nephew unexpectedly ran into the yard and she went at him and ripped his jacket sleeve before I could grab her. And our son’s best friend can’t even be in the house unless she’s in her crate. For some reason with him, she goes 100% ape shit over-the-top bonkers. He doesn’t come over much anymore. 🙁

So the thought of a stranger in the house for three days? No way. My anxiety spiraled, and I’ll admit had a bit of a meltdown. And then, realizing there was no way around this visit, I went into hyper planning mode. Can we coordinate schedules so that one of us is always here while The Guest is here? How and when will we introduce him to Ogle? How will we handle it if she doesn’t like him? Should we just plan on muzzling her the whole time? Is it OK for a dog to wear a muzzle for three whole days? Should we just spend a bunch of money we don’t really have to board her? This will not end well. WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!?!

And do you know what happened? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. The first day they met he was already in the house. Aini came in with Ogle on the leash and we were on pins and needles waiting for her to flip….and she was just like, oh, a person, cool, whatever. That’s it. And she behaved like a perfectly normal dog the entire rest of the visit.

Alright then. Anyone want to come for a visit?

Our Story

Some days are just ordinary days, and some days are the kinds of days on which, without warning, everything tilts.

Friday, January 6, 2023 was one of those kinds of days.

I was working from home. My husband Aini took our two-year old dog Ogle to the dog park. It’s their thing. She gets a bunch of exercise and he gets to chit chat with his dog peeps.

They were gone for a long time. And when he got home, he came into my office. Pale. Shaky. He sat down. And proceeded to tell me that Ogle had chased down and brutally attacked another dog. There were multiple deep bites; the other dog was taken to the emergency vet. Ogle didn’t have a scratch.

The next few days were a blur of tears and severe anxiety and text message exchanges with the other owner. The other dog recovered. We drained our savings and borrowed money to pay the vet bills.

We looked at our dog with new eyes. We looked at ourselves with new eyes. What the hell had just happened? And what the hell do we do now?

True confession. After much soul-searching and research, we did try to rehome her. We had visions of her living with more competent owners, on a couple of acres of land, with fewer stressors. A place where she could be who she is. But…an adult dog with a bite history. Who would want to take her? Turns out, nobody.

So here she still is. And here we still are. And this blog is a reflection on our continued journey with this intense, wonderful, complicated, smart, anxious, beautiful and incredibly challenging dog.